The huge money problem that no one’s talking about

I thought about how there was a receiver on the end of my spending – a business owner, an employee – who had a pay cheque because of the money I had spent. Plus, even if I didn’t utilise the purchase, I did, in fact, get something in exchange for my money, or I learned something that would help me spend better in the future. Could I really call that a waste?

I realised it was more accurate to think – “I don’t value this purchase as much as the money I have spent on it.” That’s it. If I spent $20 on a meal that wasn’t great, it wasn’t a waste – it simply wasn’t aligned to what I value spending money on.

You’ve already mastered the financial skills to save and build wealth. Now, you just have to learn the emotional skills to enjoy it.

Slowly, instead of being trapped in a cycle of fear-of-spending and then regret-about-spending, I started to see spending as a learning opportunity. Every time I felt regret, there was an opportunity to ask – where did this purchase not align with what I value spending money on?

What learnings can I take from this into my future spending decisions? With time, this will reduce your spending anxiety, and improve the quality of your spending decisions.

I can’t afford that

This phrase was once so habitual in my thinking that I noticed myself thinking it – even when it wasn’t true. Many times, I could actually afford it. The money was there in my bank account.

Take a moment to notice – can you not afford a $50 shirt, or $100 on Uber, or $1000 on a fitness program? Do you not have the money? Is it a statement of fact? Or a statement of feeling.

Chances are, it’s not that you cannot afford it. You have the money. What’s closer to the truth is – it feels like a lot of money to spend.

It feels outside your comfort zone – maybe you’re not used to spending that much on something like this. It feels risky, scary, uncomfortable. It might be more accurate to say: “I feel uncomfortable spending money on this.”

This opens up an opportunity to get curious. You can now ask yourself – why do I feel uncomfortable about spending money on this? Is it because you have certain beliefs about what you can or can’t, or should or shouldn’t spend money on?

For example, does it feel okay to spend $10,000 on a vacation, but spending the same amount on therapy feels uncomfortable? Do you have beliefs about what “someone like me” can afford?

With this perspective, instead of living in a perpetual state of “I can’t afford″⁣, you start noticing all the things you can afford. Also, instead of being stuck in a knee-jerk response, you build a better understanding of your spending beliefs which improves the quality of your spending decisions.

It took years of repetition to solidify the beliefs that form your current relationship with spending money. It will take time to identify, unlearn and then re-learn new ones.

The good news is – you’ve already mastered the financial skills to save and build wealth. Now, you just have to learn the emotional skills to enjoy it.

Paridhi Jain is the founder of SkilledSmart, which helps adults learn to manage, save and invest money through financial education courses and classes.

Advice given in this article is general in nature and not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.

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